Wo.Men to Wo.Men Services

I will tell you why.

You see, facing challenging situations can have a profound impact on individuals, often causing them to lose sight of their own needs and priorities. Whether it be a divorce, a difficult relationship, a major life change, caring for a sick relative,  working in a toxic environment, too many to mention; these experiences can drain and consume your thoughts and energy making it very difficult to focus on oneself.

I know too well of this struggle and the impact it had on my life then and the work I had to do to overcome the challenges.  Many individuals mask there situations by keeping busy but fail to realize that doing this is like an addiction, you just have to keep doing it all the time. When you take off the mask you are back to the same situation and challenges and the cycle continues. Below I will share a few reasons behind the struggle of focusing on oneself.

One of the main reasons I would share is the external factors. When dealing with challenging situations most individual find themselves preoccupied with the needs and concerns of others i.e. just keeping busy taking care of others.  The constant focus on external factors can lead to neglecting one’s own well-being and personal growth. Additionally, societal expectations and cultural norms can also contribute to this difficulty. Many cultures emphasize selflessness and sacrifice, often placing the needs of others above one’s own. This can create a sense of guilt or selfishness when individuals attempt to prioritize themselves. The pressure to conform to these expectations can further hinder individuals from focusing on their own needs and regaining their individuality.

Another reason is Emotional Exhaustion and Self-Neglect. Challenging situations can take a toll on individuals emotionally, leading to exhaustion and self-neglect. When faced with challenges, people often devote significant emotional energy in managing the situation, leaving little room for self-care. This emotional exhaustion can manifest in various ways, such as feeling drained, overwhelmed, or even experiencing symptoms of burnout. In addition, individuals may also engage in self-neglect as a coping mechanism. They may prioritize the needs of others or distract themselves from their own struggles, hoping to find solace in helping others. While this may provide temporary relief, it can perpetuate a cycle of neglecting one’s own needs and hinder the process of regaining individuality.  Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

Another reason is lack of Self-Identity and Direction. Challenging situations can shake individuals’ sense of self-identity and direction, making it difficult to focus on themselves. When faced with adversity, people may question their values, beliefs, and purpose in life. This existential crisis can leave individuals feeling lost and disconnected from themselves. Furthermore, traumatic experiences can erode one’s self-esteem and self-confidence. The negative impact of these experiences can lead individuals to doubt their abilities and worthiness, further impeding their ability to focus on themselves.

Without a clear sense of self-identity and direction, individuals may struggle to regain their individuality and prioritize their own needs.

I cannot highlight the reasons for lack of focus on oneself in challenging situations without sharing strategies to help you cope and regain your individuality.

1. Set boundaries, guard your peace. Practicing self-compassion, and engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment.
2. Seek support from trusted friends (your tribe), family members, or professionals can also be beneficial. Talking about one’s experiences and emotions with others can provide valuable insights and perspectives, helping individuals regain a sense of self and direction. Additionally, seeking professional help, such as therapy or counseling, can provide guidance and support in navigating the challenges associated with regaining individuality.
3. Engaging in self-reflection and introspection is another effective strategy. Taking the time to explore one’s values, passions, and goals can help individuals reconnect with their authentic selves. Journaling, meditation, and mindfulness practices.

Folks, every day you have to consciously work on yourself to be the better version of who you were yesterday. By keeping the faith and believing in yourself is the beginning of a worthwhile journey.  If you want to be exactly who you say you want to be then you have to do the work to show up the way you want the world to see you. Forget about the naysayers.

If you are struggling or finding it difficult to make yourself a priority having gone through challenging experiences, why not reach out to me at wo.mentowo.menservices@gmail.com to set up an appointment; I will be more than happy to help you on this Journey.

© Michelle-Nichola Cockburn.