Sometimes, it is important for us to take the time to pause and reset.
I say this from a very personal place because this year found me in a strange and, at times, uncomfortable position. I have been and, if I am being completely honest, still am a little mentally drained. This feeling has hampered my ability to write fluently and has slowed the progress of my business.
In addition to this, I have elderly parents to support, and finding out that my dad has cancer and requires both chemotherapy and radiation has taken an emotional toll on me. There are days when I feel stretched in so many directions that I wonder how I am going to keep everything together.
Yet, even in the midst of all of this, I am reminded that this season will pass. I continue to hold on to my faith and remind myself that God is with me through every season, even those I do not understand.
It was during this period that I realized something important: I needed to pause. I needed to reset.
I found myself asking so many questions that eventually my mind felt exhausted. I felt stretched so thin that even sleep became an issue. My mind was constantly processing, thinking about my parents, my responsibilities, my business, my purpose, and all the things I felt I should be doing.
Then, one day, while having a conversation with a dear friend, something inside of me shifted.
I began asking myself questions differently.
Perhaps it was the Holy Spirit speaking to me, but instead of asking questions that kept me focused on the problem, I started asking questions that could help me find a way through it.
๏ง What is this season trying to teach me?
๏ง How can I navigate these negative feelings without allowing them to consume me?
๏ง What do I need to release?
๏ง How can I reset and recharge myself?
๏ง What is within my control, and what do I need to surrender to God?
I did not have all the answers in that moment. But I knew that the answers would come. I knew that I would find my way through this season.
As a Life Coach, I often encourage people to examine the questions they ask themselves because the quality of the questions we ask can influence the direction of our thinking. When we are overwhelmed, our minds can become consumed with Why is this happening to me? What if everything goes wrong?, or How am I going to manage all of this?
Those questions are understandable, but sometimes they keep us circling the problem.
There is power in shifting the question.
Instead of asking, Why me?, we can ask, What can this season teach me?
Instead of, How am I going to get through all of this?, we can ask, What is the next right step I can take?
Instead of, Why can’t I cope?, we can ask, What do I need right now?
That small shift can create space for perspective, possibility and peace.
You see, there comes a time in our lives when we have to trust God or your higher being, and trust the process. Things happen. Life happens. We cannot always control what happens to us, but we can become intentional about how we respond to what happens.
How we manage the events of our lives can either make us or break us.
And this brings me back to something I wrote about previously: Trusting The Process.
Sometimes the process is uncomfortable. Sometimes it is painful. Sometimes it feels like nothing is moving, and we question whether we are making any progress at all. But perhaps the progress is happening internally before we can see it externally.
Going back to those questions became an important part of my reset.
I started writing down the questions and the responses that came to mind. I made a conscious decision to read them every night before bed and again first thing in the morning when I wake up.
This is still an ongoing practice.
As a Life Coach, I know the importance of intentional reflection, but this season forced me to practice what I encourage others to do. I had to give myself permission to slow down, acknowledge what I was feeling, and stop pretending that I could carry everything without taking care of myself.
And that is another important lesson I have learned: Sometimes we are so busy being there for everyone else that we forget to be there for ourselves.
Sometimes we feel so overwhelmed that we do not want to think. We do not want to pray. We do not feel like doing anything. We want to stay in bed and shut the world out.
And while I believe we should honour those moments and give ourselves grace, there also comes a time when we have to get up, dress up and show up.
Not because everything is okay.
Not because we have all the answers.
But because we still have a life to live, a purpose to fulfil and a story that is still being written.
Another key takeaway from this season has been remembering who I am and whose I am.
I cannot allow one difficult season, one disappointment, one opinion, one person’s version of me, or one circumstance to cloud my vision of who God has created me to be.
And neither should you.
There will always be people who misunderstand you. There will always be naysayers. There will be people who only see one chapter of your life and believe they know your entire story.
Do not allow someone else’s perception of you to become your identity.
Remember who you are. Remember whose you are. And keep moving.
As a coach, I often remind people that putting yourself first is not selfish. Sometimes it is necessary.
You cannot continually pour from an empty cup.
Taking care of yourself allows you to show up more fully for the people you love, the work you do and the purpose you have been called to.
So, as I write this article from a place of continued reflection, I want to leave you with some questions:
๏ง What has been weighing heavily on your mind?
๏ง What are you doing to manage those feelings?
๏ง What do you need to release?
๏ง What do you need to accept?
๏ง What is one thing you can do today to begin your own reset?
Do not rush through these questions.
Sit with them.
Be honest with yourself.
Write down the answers that come to you and, if necessary, revisit them daily. Sometimes the answer we need is already within us, but we are too overwhelmed to hear it. And remember, you are not alone.
There are people going through their own difficult seasons, quietly trying to find their way, just like you. Some are smiling while hurting. Some are showing up while exhausted. Some are rebuilding in silence.
So, give yourself grace.
Pause when you need to.
Reset when necessary.
Pray.
Reflect.
Rest.
And then, when you are ready, rise again.
There are things happening in the background that you may not be able to see right now. There are shifts taking place that may only become clear when you come out of this season. One day, you may look back and say, โNow I understand why I had to go through that.โ
And perhaps, in that moment, all you will be able to say is: โThank You, God.โ
So, my dear friends, take the time to pause and reset, as I have.
Give yourself permission to breathe.
Give yourself permission to start again.
And when you do, give it your all.
If you feel that you need support as you navigate your own season of change, reflection or resetting, I would be happy to connect with you. You can reach out to me for a consultation and to learn more about my Reset Guidelines.
Email me at wo.mentowo.menservices@gmail.com.
Sometimes, all we need is a safe space to pause, reflect, and find our way forward. Trust the process.
Copyright: Michelle-Nichola Cockburn