Forgiveness is very relevant.  This word came to me this morning and I had to write on it. So many people are walking around and not quite able to deal with this.

You may say after all, who am I to talk about forgiveness having been blindsided and retrenched from my job 5 months ago after 10 years of dedicated service.

Having experienced this and it is only from experience you can share, I know that I am in a confident and capable place to share my journey.

If you are a new comer to my blogs you can visit my article on “Feeling Your Emotions” dated November 13th, 2021 on my website.

You see, life is our stage.  Actors get injured on the set and have to recoup and heal; same applies to us.

In going through my daily purposeful living initiatives, it was intentional for me to pass this stage in order to continue my growth.

You see, you cannot move forward completely unless you go through the steps of forgiveness. Similarly, when someone is grieving, they have to go through the different stages of grieve. This process may take months or years, for some people, but the process in necessary and quite a journey. Always remember you are not alone and you may require to seek professional help, just ask for help. Engage the assistance of a Clinical Psychologist, Counsellors, or Trauma Specialist.

Forgiving someone is not easy, as the level of hurt is different in each situation. Some people can forgive in a short time and some will take years. It does not mean you have forgotten the hurt they have caused you, but you are able to be in a better place to move forward.

I had to manage my emotions and ensure that I was dealing with the hurts by processing it and allowing myself to embrace the pain. Yes, you must feel the pain. If you get a cut on your hand or any part of your body you will feel pain. Your next step will be to condition your mind to heal, then, follow the treatment plan to ensure that the wound heals as expected.

So yes, there is always a treatment plan be it in sickness or in life that we must follow.

In an article written by Jon Negroni, called “The 7 steps to True Forgiveness”, he stated the 7 steps to true forgiveness are:

  • Acknowledge
  • Consider
  • Accept
  • Determine
  • Repair
  • Learning process
  • Forgive

Jon stated that these steps are not beneficial to the person, they are beneficial to you. When you thing about it, these are powerful words! Let me say it again, these steps are not beneficial to the person, they are beneficial to YOU.

Let me share how I used these steps above and I have added one of my own as a bonus:

  1. Acknowledge – I acknowledged who hurt me and how it made me feel. I embraced the pain and I forged forward in the process.
  2. Consider – I considered how this made me feel. I experienced anxiety, sleepless nights, loss of appetite you name it I have been through it.
  • Accept – I accepted that I cannot change the past. Remember the 90/10 rule in my previous article? 10% is what you have no control over and 90% is what you can control.
  • Determine – I was determine to forgive in order to continue my personal growth.
  • Repair – I had to choose to repair. So I maintained contact with the people who are in the organization. Please note in situations where the hurt was derived from an individual, you are to decide if you are ready to repair the relationship or just move on.
  • Learn – This one was tough because I had to relearn what forgiveness really meant being a divorcee after 18 years of marriage.
  • Forgive – I forgave and moved on. Yes, there will be flashbacks but using your positive affirmations and continuing to PRAY puts you back on track.
  • Family Support – If you have a very good family bound, reach out to them for support. If not, use your TRIBE, your cheerleaders. Find someone to lean on!

Right now you must be saying what a process.  I can tell you it was not an easy exercise but it works.  The good thing is, with these tools, you are in a better position to process forgiveness.

If you are struggling with this and would like to engage my support to help you through this journey, feel free to reach out to me at, and I will be more than happy to help you construct a plan that works best for you!

Remember, we all deal with situations differently.  If we did not, we would not be the unique individual we are today.  The forgiveness process will vary for everyone, but understanding where you are on this journey will help you in navigating this storm.

To forgive is to H.E.A.L.  Here is my acronym for HEAL:  Helping yourself Emotionally by Absorbing and Linking your experiences to assist in your personal growth.  



Copyright: Michelle-Nichola Cockburn

Published by Michelle Cockburn - Motivational Speaker

Wo.Men to Wo.Men Services reaches out to both Men and Women. We offer workshops on: Self Esteem and Self-Worth; Fear and its Impact on Self; Relationship Etiquette; Purposeful living and Customer Service Interface.

2 thoughts on “Forgiveness

  1. This is so true. Unforgiveness is heavy, it’s a burden to carry around. Forgiveness benefits you, it frees you to continue on without the weight


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